Sony Europe: Colossal Idiots Will Make PS3 A Success

While the Xbox 360 remains strong in North America and the United Kingdom and the Nintendo Wii continues to fly off store shelves the world over, Sony is hoping to stake its claim on Europe with the help of the world's largest demographic: grade A fucking morons.

Citing Nintendo's success with simpletons' infatuation with digital doppelgangers and gentle gaming, Sony Europe feels that Home, the new social playground where user created avatars wait around for hours until the opportunity to mime-rape the rare female avatar appears, is the ultimate lure to this elusive yet profitable buying base.

During a recent visit to the Robotronic Dynamite! offices, Home's European service manager, Dan Hill, said, "We've put together the ultimate user experience. You can buy, with real money, digital clothes licensed to feature name brands for your avatar!"

When asked if he felt Microsoft might have preempted Sony's attempt at reaching the casual gamer with its Avatars, Mr. Hill responded, "While Microsoft's Avatars are a nice attempt at luring soccer moms, nascar dads, senile octogenarians, and bachelor uncles into buy the 360, the fact remains that you can't take your avatar and do rad stuff like buy fake crap at fake stores to dress up your fake apartment! Sony knows what people need in these tough economic times; to waste money on useless shit that won't enrich their lives to any extent whatsoever!"

RD! put in a call to Mr. Fils-Aime of Nintendo to find out if he was at all concerned about Sony's aggressive push for mainstream relevance, but were unable to reach him as he had apparently eaten his phone.

Plaintiffs in God of War Copyright Suit Sued By Collective Geniuses

Seemingly inspired by--or perhaps in direct response to--the lawsuit filed against Sony and game designer David Jaffe by screenwriter Jonathan Bissoon-Dath and concept artist Jennifer Barrette-Herzog over supposed similarities between the God of War series and their unproduced movie, Olympiad, a joint suit was filed against the two by a cavalcade of artists and writers--most of whom long deceased--who claim the duo ripped them off long before Sony and Jaffe. Robotronic Dynamite met with a few of the plaintiffs at a popular, downtown cafe.

"Animated skeletons armed with bad ass swords; I came up with that shit!" exclaimed an irate Ray Harryhausen as he thumbed through the rejected screenplay, "It just goes to show that no one wants to bother with new ideas anymore."

"Yeah, good artists borrow, great artists steal, but hacks turn your creations into garbage," added a more reserved Sophocles, renowned genius. He continued, "A guy whose foul temper
results in the unraveling of everything he loves. I wonder where they got that idea?"

I asked the acclaimed tragedian if he were still talking about Olympiad or if he had moved on to critiquing God of War, to which Euripides stepped in:

"It's not like God of War is the most creative thing in the world. I mean; it's fun, but it's also
kind of thugishly stupid. They pretty much cast Stone Cold Steve Austin as the cliched, tragic antihero whose only function is to murder countless people, animals, and gods while occasionally shouting 'Ares!'. Where's the drama? Where's the comment on the human condition?"

The mind that birthed Medea paused for a moment, but continued, "Look, we really
didn't mind all of the blatant ripping off of our work. We're just annoyed that someone would claim that they created it. And that they would lay claim to something as hilariously dumb as God of War. It's insulting, to be honest. I mean, I guess that's what you get when two
hyphenated last names team up with each other."

In response to this lawsuit, Bissoon-Dath mostly shrugs, "They claim that I'm not that
creative. Did they even read my script? Zeus's hands turn into fucking light sabers. That's creative as hell!"

Barrete-Herzog echoes in agreement, "They have the audacity to suggest I didn't create
the idea of rickety bridges spanning bottomless expanses. That's insane! That's never been thought of before. Ever."

Legal experts expect the suit to be a "slam dunk" for the plaintiffs.